


down in the deep the honey is sweeter

by findyourfortunefalling



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, F/M, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-08 14:49:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18896821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/findyourfortunefalling/pseuds/findyourfortunefalling
Summary: “Klaus, what are you doing?”He blinks at her, eyes wide and innocent, and lets her slide her fingers out of his mouth, spit painting his lips shiny and wet. “I would have thought that was obvious.”“It’s not,” Vanya says. “It’s not, you have to- you have to say it.”(Klaus and Vanya, after a night out on the town.)





	down in the deep the honey is sweeter

**Author's Note:**

> So! I tumbled into this fandom, completely failed to resist the call of nasty incest porn, and ended up writing some myself. The actual sex in this is relatively tame, but, y'know... incest porn. Is what it is. Title from 'Honey', by Robyn. Big big love to my co-conspirator TheseusInTheMaze, without whom this would not exist.

They stumble into his room, giggling, with his arm around her shoulders. Vanya can’t remember the last time she felt so sweaty, or the last time she had so much glitter on her, but Klaus was right- she had had fun, clubbing with him. They’d both stuck to water and fruity mocktails, but she still felt giddy from the dancing, the crowds, the energy in the club. 

“You liked it,” says Klaus, smug and triumphant.

“I did, surprisingly,” Vanya says, kicking off her shoes, peeling off her socks. “You were right, I had fun.”

“My favourite words in the English language!” Klaus flops down onto his bed, dragging her down with him to lie side by side, curled together like quotation marks. “Up there with ‘please have this money’ and ‘can I please go down on you’. They just sound great together.”

Vanya flushes, and looks down at their legs, tangled together. “Don’t expect to hear them too often.”

“Oh, I never expect anything. It makes getting things so much more fun,” says Klaus. He rubs a hand up her arm, pulling her closer to his chest.

She shivers a little, feeling his palm slick with the sweat cooling on her skin. Ever since she came off the pills, she's been weirdly sensitive all over. “Don’t, I’m gross,” she murmurs, but she doesn’t pull away.

“Sweat? Please.” Klaus reels her in even closer, and licks a stripe up her cheek, holding her to him when she squeals and tries to wriggle away. “I’ve had worse things than sweat on me, sweetheart.”

“Sweat and glitter,” Vanya says. “We’re very... glittery.”

“I think I got some in my mouth,” Klaus says, sticking out his tongue to show her. He’s right- some of the glitter that had been on her face has stuck to his tongue, and it sparkles in the low light. Vanya reaches up, her hand seemingly operating without her instructions, and touches the pads of her fingers to it. His eyes snap to hers, and he slowly, slowly, sucks her fingers into his mouth.

“Jesus,” she says, low and breathless. He sweeps his soft tongue over the delicate skin of her fingertips. “Jesus,” she says again, louder. “Klaus, what- what are you doing?”

He blinks at her, eyes wide and innocent, and lets her slide her fingers out of his mouth, spit painting his lips shiny and wet. “I would have thought that was obvious.”

“It’s not,” Vanya says. “It’s not, you have to- you have to say it.”

“Do I,” says Klaus, swinging a leg over hers and levering himself up onto his knees, looming above her. It was easy to forget, lying down, how much taller he really was. “I think we both know what we’re doing here, don’t we?”

She opens her mouth to say- she’s not sure what. She thinks she does know. In the noise and lights of the club, he hadn’t let her stray far from him, and she’d appreciated that, having a tether in the crowd. He’d kept a hand on her almost the entire time, sometimes two, and when he pulled her out onto the dance floor, they’d danced together, his hips guiding hers to follow the pounding beat. He’d spun her, enough to leave her dizzy, and gathered her back in, chest plastered along her back, and they’d moved together like that, pressed close enough that she could feel the pulse of his heart through his erection, nestled against the small of her back.

She hadn’t said anything. There hadn’t felt like there was anything to say, even when his hands crept from her shoulders down to her hips; even when she’d felt the slide of his cheek against her hair, felt his lips press against her temple. It had all felt so good, so uncomplicated and good, on the dance floor. So easy.

Now he’s looking down at her, his eyes dark, and it feels… complicated.

“No, no, come on, Vanya,” Klaus says, tipping her chin up to make her look at him. “It doesn’t have to be a big deal, you know? We can just feel good together.”

“It *is* a big deal,” she says, feeling her jaw move against his hand. “You’re my-”

“Shh,” he says, and kisses her. She can taste her sweat on his tongue, along with a little hint of the cranberry and lime concoction he’d had before they’d gone dancing. Surely it should feel weirder, kissing her brother; her _brother_ , open mouthed and dirty right out of the gate, but it mostly just feels good. Klaus really knows how to kiss, wet but not sloppy, tongue moving in hot little flicks. She sighs into his mouth.

“Klaus,” she gasps when he finally lets her up for air. He presses their foreheads together and laughs, soft and high.

“Vanya,” Klaus says, and kisses her again, sucking her bottom lip between his teeth and releasing it with a wet pop. “Vaaaaanya. You remember what I said about my favourite words?” She doesn’t remember anything. The leather of his pants slides against her jeans, and his knees have drifted closer to her body, squeezing her between them. She shakes her head, angling upwards to get his mouth back on hers. “Hey, sweetheart, hey, remember,” he murmurs. “Can I please go down on you?”

This is an awful idea. His hand settles on her fly.

“Yes,” she says. She puts her hand on his hand, and they move together to unbutton her jeans, suddenly hurried and fumbling. Klaus has to move off her to help her take them off, and he doesn’t bother with the innocent fiction of leaving her panties on, hooking his fingers into both waistbands at once and peeling them down her legs. Her clothes end up on the floor, and Klaus ends up between her thighs, looking up at her through his lashes. Vanya thinks, for a moment, that he’s going to stop, going to hesitate, but instead he shoulders her knees apart, spreads her open, and licks a long hot stripe right up the centre of her cunt.

Vanya’s head drops back against the pillows, stifling a moan. Klaus laps at her eagerly, the slick sound of his mouth on her wet folds lewd and mortifying in the quiet of his room- she’s been wet since the club, a persistent ache she’d tried to ignore, and he’s making no effort to keep the noise down. It's good, god, it's _so_ good- Klaus eats pussy like he kisses, like he talks, fast and direct and filthy. His tongue slides up over her clit, and her whole body jerks- it’s been a long time since anybody did this for Vanya, _to_ Vanya, and she can’t remember it ever feeling this intense before, every rasp of Klaus's tongue ratcheting her higher and higher. "Klaus, god, _Klaus_ ," she finds herself murmuring, canting her hips up to his face.

He looks up at her, eyes bright and a little manic, and grins. "Yes, Vanya?" he says, conversationally.

"Don't _stop_ ," Vanya whines. Her hands flutter on her thighs. Smirking, Klaus takes her hands in his, and moves them onto his head before licking into her again. She threads her fingers into his hair, and gives a gentle, cautious tug; Klaus moans dramatically against her, and even knowing it's a performance, it makes her want to pull harder, and when she does pull harder he moans again, muffled and surprised. That's good too, and every time she does it his tongue speeds up, sweeping tight circles over her clit. Christ, her thighs are _shaking_. She can feel her orgasm building in her stomach already. She's never come this fast in her life, but Klaus is dipping his head lower to slide his tongue into her, fingers coming up to rub her clit in a sloppy, syncopated counter-rhythm, and that's it, she's gone, biting her lip to hold back a whimper as she rides it out against his face.

Klaus doesn't stop, though. He can't have missed her coming- his _tongue_ was _inside_ her- but he's still licking her like he wants her to come again right away. His fingers flirt around the edge of her vagina, and despite her whole-body shivers, she finds herself angling her hips to get them inside her. Obligingly, Klaus sinks one long slender finger into her cunt, adding a second in quick succession, stroking deep and twisting. His knobbly finger joints rub at her, his mouth closes over her clit and sucks, hard, and she's there again, already, clenching around him.

The second one is a lot. She's dizzy with it, her whole body humming, and the press of his fingers inside her is abruptly too much. “Out, out,” she says weakly, releasing her grip on his hair to paw at his wrists.

Klaus slips his fingers out, wiping them on the sheets, and presses a kiss to her thigh. “God, you're sweet,” he says. “I could eat you out all night.”

“I might not survive,” says Vanya, giggling a little; she's not quite sure she's kidding. “You're pretty good at that.”

“Why, thank you,” says Klaus, kissing up her thigh towards her crotch. “One endeavours to provide satisfaction. Would you say you were… satisfied?”

He's asking if she wants to stop. She probably should- nobody's ever made her come more than twice in a night before, and she'd hate to spoil things by making him work for something that might not happen. Then again, nobody's made her come as fast as Klaus just did, so it's not impossible he could do that, too. “We can keep going, if you want,” she says shyly. “Or I could, um. I could do you?”

“Let’s put a pin in that thought,” Klaus says, breath gusting hot over her pubes. “Much though I appreciate the offer, I’m having a pretty great time right where I am. As long as you’re still having fun?” He presses another, more lingering kiss to her pubic mound, just above her slit.

“I’m still having fun,” she says, voice wobbling as he nuzzles at her. He moves his hand down again, like he’s making to fuck her with them again, and she pushes it gently away. “Just not, uh, inside again? Sometimes my- I get a little sensitive.”

“That’s okay,” says Klaus. He doesn’t bother lifting his head, so he’s a little muffled. “I can put my hands anywhere you like.” He rubs his knuckles up the back of her thigh, then back down again, fanning his fingers over the swell of her buttocks, and leaves them there, fingertips resting on her crack. 

Oh. _Oh_. Vanya feels herself go pink. “Um,” she squeaks. “Uh, I don’t-”

“You don’t like butt stuff?” Klaus asks.

“I don't, I mean, I haven't,” stammers Vanya. _My shirt is still on_ , she thinks, absurdly. “I haven't done, y'know, so I don't- I don't know?”

"Oh, honey, nobody with a sex drive should make it to thirty without someone playing with their ass," Klaus says, incredulous. Vanya squirms against the bed. Klaus’s fingers follow her movement, and press, just lightly, between her cheeks, just shy of her asshole.

“Nobody's ever asked,” says Vanya, very aware of how small her voice sounds.

“What a waste.” Klaus spreads her open- he's looking at her there, oh _God_ \- and rubs her, a slow circle. "This gorgeous thing? That's practically a crime."

Her face is very hot.

“I have lube,” says Klaus.

“Okay,” Vanya says. Did she say that too fast? It felt like she said it really fast.

Smiling, Klaus pushes himself up the bed, and reaches over her to open and rummage through his top drawer, nudging aside knickknacks and cigarette packets to fish out a small plastic bottle. He snaps the cap open, getting his fingers wet, and then they’re nudging up between her cheeks, cool and slick against her skin. Vanya looks up at the ceiling, and tries not to- to what? To move? To feel too much? To _like it_ too much?

Because she does like it. The slow, deliberate slide of Klaus’s index finger up her ass feels good- strange, invasive, but good, in a stomach-twisting way she wants to chase after. He pumps it in and out, fucking it deeper with each stroke, until his knuckles rub against her perineum. “Oh, Vanya,” says Klaus, breathy and soft.

Vanya didn't know her face could get any hotter, but here she is, cheeks so flushed they almost sting, clenching spasmodically around Klaus’s finger. She opens her mouth to say something, to defend herself against the sensation, but before she can shape words, Klaus's mouth descends on her cunt again. His tongue moves in counter-rhythm to his finger, leaving her squirming ineffectually between the two sensations, unsure which she wants more; she just knows it feels great, and she wants it.

The tips of Klaus’s fingers- two, this time- circle her asshole, slick against her skin. “Might I make so bold,” Klaus starts to say, but she's already nodding, already canting her hips up against his hand. He smiles at her, incongruously sweet and open, as he pushes in again with two. She has a better handle on the feeling, this time, and bears down as they slide in. His fingers are slim enough that the burn isn't overwhelming, but when he starts to lick her again, tonguing fervently at her clit, the shudders of her oncoming orgasm- her _third_ , what is happening, she doesn't ever- magnify every twitch of them inside her.

“Klaus, Klaus, fuck,” she babbles, hands clenching in his hair, and she's coming, again, clamping down tight on the fingers in her ass and grinding against his face. By the time she's done, she’s panting like she just ran a marathon. “Holy shit,” she says. “Holy shit. Is this, like. Normal for you?”

“Normal isn't really my thing,” says Klaus. His fingers flex in her ass. “But I'll take it as a compliment.”

“It was,” Vanya says, on a breathless laugh. “I don't remember the last time I came three times in a row.”

“Really? Then it's definitely a compliment.” Klaus slides his fingers out, making her twitch. He wipes them on the bedsheets- oh, gross- and crawls up her body to kiss her again. His face reeks of her cunt, but she kisses back anyway, shallow and sweet. “So did you like it? Butt stuff?”

“The thing where I came all over your face should probably have tipped you off,” says Vanya, a little ruefully. “Yeah, I liked it. It's intense.”

Klaus hums contemplatively. He slips a hand up her shirt, and she sits up to pull it off, relishing the cool air on her sweaty skin. Klaus immediately palms one of her tits, giving her a little squeeze, before moving his hand down to his crotch. When she looks down, his cock is comically visible in his tight pants, like a sight gag in a teen movie.

“Can I return the favour?” Vanya says. The weave of his shirt feels rough against her naked skin. She doesn't hate it. “I owe you a couple.”

“You're not obliged, but I'd consider it a kindness,” says Klaus. “Do you know what you sound like, sweetheart? When you come? And the taste of you, my god.”

Vanya blushes again. She doesn't answer, instead moving her clumsy hands down to unzip his pants and slide them down. It takes a little wiggling- all of Klaus’s club clothes are practically painted on- but soon enough they're both naked, pressed together in Klaus’s single bed. He kisses her again, half on top of her, and she lets herself get lost in it, just for a minute.

“I can blow you,” Vanya says, emboldened by the slide of their bodies together. “Or if you've got condoms, we could fuck. You could fuck me, I mean.”

“Choices, choices,” says Klaus. “While blowjobs are great, I do have condoms, and I would consider fucking you an honour.”

“Shut up,” she says, laughing again. “Bedside drawer?”

“Yeah,” he says. She rolls onto her side, rifling around in his still open drawer for what they need. He rolls with her, spooned up behind her, and kisses her shoulder.

She finds a strip of condoms under a single fingerless glove, and tears one off, handing it to Klaus. “They're still in expiry, right?”

“Mmhmm,” he murmurs. His hips roll against hers. His cock slides on her sweaty skin, and she's abruptly aware of her asshole, still slick and open. “Now, listen, you can say no," he says, erection dragging hot along the crack of her ass. "It's not usually something to rush into, but I have this erection, y’see, and you have this gorgeous plaything here, and I was thinking-"

"Yeah," she says. Her cheek rubs against his, sweaty hair pasting down against her face. "Yeah, I want it."

"Baby," says Klaus, breathy, right into her ear. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm going to make it so good for you."

Klaus reaches over her to fish the lube out of the rumpled sheets, and drops another kiss on her skin as he pulls away to fiddle with the condom. Vanya turns her face into the pillow, and tries to stay relaxed, like agreeing to let one of her siblings fuck her in the ass is no big deal, as his slippery fingers probe between her cheeks. He strokes at her until she's pushing back against him; she hears the click of the lube being opened again, and the wet sounds of him slicking up his cock.

“Oh,” says Vanya, at the first push of his cockhead at her hole. Klaus hums agreeably, and shifts his thighs for better leverage. “That's- oh fuck.” It feels different than her fingers did, hotter, blunt pressure where his fingers slipped inside. It's better, somehow, easier to flex against, and all her breath whooshes out of her as he presses in, painstakingly slow.

“Oh fuck is right,” says Klaus, muffled into her neck. “You’re so _tight_ , Vanya. Keep bearing down, that’s it, just like- _fuck_.”

Vanya grins against the pillow, like she can’t control her face, oddly proud of herself. She saw Klaus’s cock; it’s not huge or anything, but it’s not small, either, and it feels big, opening her up. Twisting her hips back, another inch slides in, and she shudders under the burn of her body accommodating him as he bottoms out.

“Christ.” Klaus’s hand moves from her hip, where he’s left little fingernail indentations like half moons, and squeezes her ass, spreading her open to watch his cock slide back out of her, then in, again, just a fraction faster. Her face feels like it’s on _fire_. “You take it so pretty, you know that?”

Vanya did not know that. He’s used a lot of lube, so while it still burns a little, he’s moving easily in her now, pushing through her shakes and twitches to build up a steady, grinding rhythm. Klaus’s mouth moves over her shoulder, kissing her, licking up her neck to tongue under her ear, and he’s stopped talking but he’s still making little helpless sounds of pleasure. She’s not going to come again, not from this, but that feels sort of besides the point, when it all feels so _good_.

She’s just starting to drift when Klaus lets out a choked-off whining noise, and plasters himself along her back, hips sharp against her buttocks as he comes. It feels like it goes on for a solid minute; he doesn’t stop touching her, holding her tightly as his cock twitches inside her. “Vanya,” he pants, voice warm. “You’re incredible.”

Vanya laughs, a joyful sound she hadn’t known she was capable of making. “You’re incredible too,” she says.

“Agreed. We're both incredible,” Klaus says, and nips sharply at her ear. Vanya yelps and wriggles away, and winces when the movement shifts Klaus’s softening cock inside her. “Yeah, sorry, this part isn't quite as much fun.” Palming her ass, he eases out, nuzzling apologetically into her shoulder. It isn’t- it doesn’t hurt, exactly, but it feels weird, and she’s very aware of her asshole once it’s out in a way she really hasn’t been before. She feels Klaus peel off the condom and toss it over her shoulder into the wastebasket, and then he’s curling against her again, dick wet against her back.

“Ew, that’s gross,” Vanya whines. “You’re gross. We should get up and shower.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” says Klaus, and yawns noisily into her hair. His arm slips around her waist, and she finds herself nestling into his hold, even though they really are both pretty disgusting, between the sweat and the… everything else. It feels nice, being held, and she lets her eyes drift shut. They’ll get up and wash it all off in little while, but for now, even if just for a minute, they can rest.


End file.
